Plan
Character: John, White, Blonde, Blue, 5 foot 10′, Skinny
Story: John is stranded in a Deserted Island on his own.
Tense: 1st person
Story
it’s happened , my worst nightmare, sorry I’m getting head of myself, let me start at the begging, It all started When i was on a cruise to America from Belfast on the Titanic which I fell overboard on.
I’m now in limbo or technically speaking a deserted island where I’m the only one here which I’ll admit is kind of scary but not as scary a what happened next. What did happen next, oh yes I remember I was savaged by lion while finding myself accommodation and food but it wasn’t until later that I realised that they were not as but as first thought.
The lion helped me craft a boat and told me how to get to america where my family would have been worried. The journey was long but was followed by more…
January 20, 2014 at 11:54 am
Hello Lethaniel,
You certainly know how to create tension. I can see that that you have used a number of devices to engage the reader – the inclusion of the Titanic; a (somewhat magical) lion that will eventually help your character build a boat and your character being unsure of his events.
For development:
Imagine that this was the first page of a novel – what details would you include and why? What details would you leave out and why?
Come to see me if you would like help with this,
Mr North